Just been been trawling lrpdrabbles to make Event Week pass more quickly, found your maelfroth-riddled LJ, and couldn't resist this 'un.

Pringle (Aberddu, preferably before he Ascended)
Me: Er... shit, it's him. Ah, fuck. That means there's probably a half-dozen assassins around here somewhere looking for someone that looks pretty much exactly like me.

Cornelius el-Qual'da (Aberddu again)
Me: Ah. I appear to have dropped out of a magical rift of some kind. What a terrible shame no-one around here is clever enough to get me home again.
Cornelius: *sound of outraged coughing followed by frantic searching through books*

Sergeant Thomas Mann (RIP)(Maelstrom)
Me: Er. Hello. I've been hearing about this bloke, the "Baron"? I hear he's quite the guy by all accounts. You wouldn't happen to know him, would you?

Brother Farael (Maelstrom)
Me: Er... Hello! I've been thinking of converting to the Teacher, and I have some interesting theories about mana flows that you might want to hear about. And I'm quite happy to listen to people witter on for hours and hours and hours...

I won't bother with my LT character, as it would just be a scream followed by some crunching sounds.